There’s a scene from Forrest Gump where Jenny and Forest happen upon Jenny’s childhood home on a walk. Jenny grew up with her father and was abused and beaten. She begins to pick up rocks and throw them full force at the run-down shack as she screams. She finally crumbles to the ground weeping. Forest sums up her pain and anger in one simple line…
“Sometimes I guess there just aren’t enough rocks…”
Obviously, Forrest’s lifelong friend Jenny had grown up in a home where she was abused by her father. He had left his mark on Jenny in a horrible way, profoundly affecting her life choices. And now, years later, seeing that house – the house where she grew up – that house from which she ran to an even more destructive way of life – seeing that house brought back painful memories. The hurt hadn’t gone away. The wounds had never fully healed. And Forrest appropriately comments, “Sometimes there just aren’t enough rocks.”
Let me ask you to consider something today. Have you run out of rocks?
Rocks are what we hurl at objects or individuals who remind us of our pain. They are not literal rocks, but maybe actions or words that we employ to strike back at almost anyone or anything in an attempt to offset some of our own hurt: a sarcastic comment here, a bit of excessive behavior there. Hopefully we won’t hurt so bad as long as we have rocks to throw. Jenny’s wayward adult life that is pictured in Forrest Gump is presented as a futile effort at numbing the pain of past wounds.
The trouble is that the deep hurts and the deep wounds of our lives can’t be fully healed by simply throwing rocks. Sooner or later we’ll run out – we’ll find we’ve hurt others in the process. We’ll find the pain is still there. And reduced to a puddle of unmanageable emotions, we find ourselves having to come to grips with the rest of life, wondering how we’ll cope.
Today’s message is about the healing of deep wounds. It’s from Genesis chapter 50.
Joseph’s life is an example of how God can bring healing to the deep wounds of our lives. Somehow Joseph made it. After all he’d been through. After all the hurt, the betrayal and unfair treatment. Joseph found healing.
As we look at Genesis 50 we can learn from Joseph a few substantial,
Ways to Let Go of Bitterness:
► Keep a Forgiving Spirit.
Genesis 50:15-19
Joseph kept a forgiving spirit. We must forgive others and keep a forgiving spirit in order to let go of bitterness. Jacob had lived seventeen years in Egypt before he died (Genesis 47:28). Thus, it had been a long time since Joseph had confronted his brothers over the evil they had done him, over seventeen years. They had done a terrible evil against him, threatened his life and sold him into slavery. But remember, Joseph had forgiven them. The brothers had confessed, repented of their sin, and been converted; and Joseph had confronted them and truly forgiven them.
Deep wounds will never be healed if we let ourselves become bitter. In bitterness we want to spread the hurt. Share it with the ones who hurt us. But we do so at the expense of leaving our own wounds un-mended.
How can you tell if someone is BITTER? Bitterness remembers details!
Most of what you have done, or what was done to you, you have forgotten a long time ago … you don’t remember details of most events. BUT … when you are BITTER about something, you can remember EVERY DETAIL! Every word that was said … the tone and inflection of the voice used … the time, place and circumstances of the event. You know EXACTLY what happened.
Why is this true? Because you have reviewed it over and over in your mind … a thousand times! We don’t normally review the GOOD things like that. We remember them, and enjoy them … then we set them aside. BUT … when you are BITTER over something, you can’t let go of it … and it haunts you … and you play it over & over again … you become OBSESSED with it.
In the New Testament, Ephesians 4:31 says,
Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger…
Ephesians 4:31
Joseph was a wise man.
He knew God wouldn’t heal his hurt as long as he carried a bitter desire to see harm come to his brothers.
Do you have a deep wound inflicted by someone in your past? If so, guard against bitterness by trusting God to right the wrongs. Without this, healing will not occur.
The key to forgiveness is to understand how much we have been forgiven by God. Each of us has offended God in a major way because of our sins. But He sent Jesus to give us a way to be reunited with Him. Having faith in what Jesus did for us and accepting his grace, we are forgiven. God has taken leave of our sins in Jesus, so we too should let go of the sins committed against us.
Forgive as the Lord forgave you.
Colossians 3:13
► Believe in God’s Greater Purpose.
Genesis 50:20
There is an amazing verse in Genesis 50: One of the most profound in the Bible. It's Verse 20. Joseph, the recipient of unnecessary wrong and mistreatment, looks his brothers in the eyes and says this:
"You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives."
He says something similar when he reveals his identity to his brothers in chapter 45. Verse 5 – It was to save lives that God sent me ahead of you.
God never puts a stamp of approval on evil and sin. What Joseph’s brothers did was wrong. However, as Joseph looks back on his life, he sees it is no accident that he is where he is. Even in the midst of all the bad that happened, God used it for good. In fact, he used Joseph’s life to save many other lives. His brothers intended to harm him, but God intended it for good.
Many times we don’t know what God wants to do in our lives until after the fact. If you’re going through a deep wounding right now, or you have in the past, you have a choice to make...
Joseph declared that God had overruled their evil and worked it out for good. He had seen God's hand taking all the terrible circumstances of his life and working them out for good. God had used all the terrible trials to strengthen him and to teach him to endure and to work hard. Thus God was able to exalt Joseph to be the ruler of Egypt so that he could save the world of his day from utter catastrophe.
Genesis 50:21
Joseph was able to say these words in verse 21 because he had experienced how God had provided for Him.
I’m pretty sure that at the bottom of a pit, Joseph wasn’t fully aware of God’s overall plan for his life. After being thrown into prison for something he didn’t do, he still probably didn’t see the whole picture. He still probably didn’t understand why he was suffering or be able to give a full explanation of what God was up to.
Can you explain in full detail why you are going through what you are today? Probably not. You may even have doubts…
I get asked this a lot from people, “Pastor, do you ever have doubts in your faith?” The answer to that is yes. In fact, the real answer is that I have doubts you’ve never even thought about.
But I also know that even in the middle of my darkest doubts; especially in the middle of my deepest doubts,
I know that God’s promises are real and that they hold true in any situation of my life. God will always bring me back to living by faith in the undeniable truths He provides for me and help me not miss out on them because they are unexplainable.
Joseph lived by promises, not explanations.